2009

they came home, nightly with durian on there breath. they wore the same t-shirt that read,"hey,hey we're the monkees." and they didn't mind what anyone said. after missing there 35th high school reunion they didn't seem to care until they heard what was on the dessert tray. my favorite and yours. but tastes change.

hair ball

he was always just your ordinary blue collar, hard working, family guy, who when younger didn't believe in the easter bunny but did believe in santa claus but only for a short while. when he was younger he was involved with the drug scene for a short while but really didn't care for the effects.he was currently renting a small house near fallsburg in central ohio with his wife and four beagles, and 14 cats, he liked his dogs but never really cared for cats,"but his wife liked them." in the summer of 1999 two dogs, and he went to lake otto fishing, he'd been there fishing before and at times it was a good place to fish for blue gills or sometimes bass. he'd always enjoyed fishing and he really needed a break from his job and the rat race. he definately could use a little relaxation. lake otto was within miles of fallsburg, with many beautiful trees and a forest that went east behind it for miles. there was also a boat at lake otto that the owner would at times allow him to use for a few extra bucks. he arrived at lake otto but before leaveing home and kissing his wife goodbye he ate some left-overs and cut the grass. after cutting the grass he was still hungry so he found some leftover baked beans in the refrigerator, he'd always been baked beans biggest fan. he then grabbed his fishing pole, dogs,and cooler and drove off for a day of fishing and relaxation. after arriveing at lake otto he paid the owner and asked him whether or not the fish were bitting, the owner assured me there had been some good size bass and blue gills caught and even a few catfish.i remembered to rent the boat then drove 500 yards, maybe a little further and noticed i was the only one there, which was fine by me. so it was me and my two dogs on a good size lake and it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, not hot, not cold, not windy, just great. lake otto has a shelter house and that's where the boat was, a small wooden row boat that had several years on it but was fine with me. i let the dogs run free,"since no one was there," grabbed my pole and cooler a rowed off for the big one, and at last some mush needed relaxation. he'd rowed a hundred yards or so when he remembered he'd left his whacky tobaccy so he rowed back to his truck by the shelter house and retieved it. by this time it must have been 3pm, still plenty of time to catch "the big one," or whatever he happened to snag. he rowed and rowed fishing, takeing breaks for refreshments, that he had in my cooler, relaxing with herbal assistance, he wasn't catching any fish and he really didn't mind. several hours later, he had rowed, and fished practicly the entire length of the lake and he knew it was time to head back so it wouldn't be pitch black when he arrived at the shelter but before he started back he wanted to check out the scenary on this side of the lake. he headed for the shoreline, looking for a safe spot where he could tie up the boat and get out without hurting myself. he found the spot quickly and after tieing off and getting off, began walking around by this time it might have been nearly eight, he knew there was enough daylight left, but to be on the safe side he thought he shouldn't be to long. he walked for a short while he thought and he couldn't even see the lake, it made him nervous losing site of the lake, so he turned around and headed back, at least he thought he was retracing his steps. he walked for a few minutes and thought that he should be seeing the lake by now but no lake, where was the lake and just how did he lose his way? so he kept on walking and searching, he felt a little scared and foolish, and he knew the lake had to be just ahead, but it wasn't. several hours later he was still searching, and had walked what seemed like miles. he noticed some huge rocks ahead and knew they weren't near the lake but they looked fascinateing so he thought he might as well investicate them. it was then he decided on the whacky tobaccy, and shortly after he saw something that looked and smelled like nothing had ever before. he had stumbled onto a bigfoot,"sasquatch" and the smell and site was like nothing he had ever seen or smelled. luckily the bigfoot was asleep and he kept very quiet so he wouldn't wake him, but the smell was like nothing else,like rotting durian fruit in the summer sun, and the size was enormous, possibly nine feet. several minutes went by and sammy, "what he liked to call him," woke up, the bigfoot seemed to be more afraid of him than he was of it, if that was possible, in the end they became close, good friends, pals, even though they couldn't verbally communicate, which just goes to show you,"?."

scooters

he did alot of things he never thought he'd ever do, just to survive, just to get by. since his world fell apart in the early 1980's he'd been wandering from place to place, doing anything to make a few bucks so he'd have just a little, just enough money to contribute to he and his friends late night get togethers. at times the late night get togethers might start at noon the day before. he wasn't very handsome but he seemed to have friends and relatives all over the united states, and even a few as far away as singapore but he'd never been there. with the money he would earn doing these jobs that no one else in there right mind would do he'd hitch-hike to and from the job, the license bureau took his license,"the cost of gas was unaffordable anyway," he would sleep usually at a friends sometimes at relatives, sometimes wherever, and in the winter when the cold was unbearable he'd head south. he new he was getting to old for this life style but the pain kept him moving. it had been nearly thirty years of his life, living like this when he broke down and bought a used rideing lawn mower. he drove that lawn mower practicully everywhere, and it had driven him even beyond the state line, he babied his lawn mower and established a lawn mowing route to earn a little money. he realized cutting grass would never make him rich but it was a way to earn money,"being homeless." later he bought a trailer he could pull behind his trailer and with some modifications he had a bed to sleep in. he still visited his friends and relatives,"he would cut alot of there lawns," but he'd spend the majority of his earnings on fruit, any fruit he could get his hands on. he especially liked when his uncle came back from singapore, he'd aways smuggle a durian fruit or two to calm his cravings. although his uncle was rarely around so he'd have to be satisfied with apples, pears,oranges,bananas or any other fruit he could lay his hands on, but he learned to love durian fruit although because of it's horrible smell he often had to eat it outside, and only on windy days so as not to offend passers by, but that suited him fine because he was homeless.

corn fed

she was a big gal, enormous, but what lovely handwritting. she was also a champion, last year she won a pie eatting contest at the county fair, it made no difference that all the other contestants left when they noticed she would be there. so she was well known as a champion pie eater, excellent handwritting skills, and there's one more thing, now what was it, oh! she could dance, really cut a rug as someone said, i have no idea where she learned to dance but she could, and it didn't matter which or what kind of dance she seemed to instinctively no them all, a natural, with beautiful handwritting, enormous, and a average complexsion, she did look better in the dark.

hot pants

i'm really not sure if she still lives there or not but across the street from my grandmother there's a woman grandma used to call hot pants, possibly because of all her late night activities. i was always amused by grandma looking out the window like any self righteous nosey neighbor, and grandpa would always have something witty to say. hot pants,"at least in the 1980's, was a foxy looking woman," i'm really not that sure if she was all that foxy since i only saw her from hundreds of feet away,"probably in her late 30's to early 40's with several children and a limp-wristed husband,"she had a daughter who was in high school with a child of her own, grandma referred to her as" hot pants jr." i can still see hot pants digging through her wardrobe which she carried in the trunk of her car, trying to find an outfit to go with a particular purse she happened to be carrying that day. i think grandma once told me hot pants had a night job making her catting around allot more inconspicuous, in any case being judgemental probably wasn't cool but there was a guy in my high school class that went out with hot pants and he told me it wasn't worth it, something about she had both male and female organs, sort of makes me ill just thinking about it. but grandma died in 2001 just after terrorists crashed into the world trade center, i don't really know if hot pants had anything to do with that but who knows?

rotten kitties

under the porch in the hummid summer, if they smell much worse we won't be able to keep down dinner, those rotten kitties, rotten kitties,rotten kitties, hey, rotten kitties, rotten kitties, purrrr-r-r

teen

i can still remember when i was young, even though it's been several weeks ago. i was experimenting with everything and anything out of curiousity i guess? maybe i just wasn't all that bright. i have a daughter who has just become a dreaded teenager, and she seems to have alot more common sense than i had at her age so here's hopeing, i know i'll be keeping my fingers crossed.