it was in 1997 when i was driving home after a late night get together and hog roast with friends and some friends of friends people that i really didn't know but they came for some of the same reasons as i did and that was to eat pork and drink alcoholic beverages(with an emphasis on the beverages). we'd eaten to our hearts content and everyone at the get together was sufficiently brain-dead when they decided it was time to go. i remember thinking to myself "i wish i had dental floss" when i first noticed a strange light in the sky. the floss was because there was something lodged between my teeth and gums and i really wasn't sure if it was a sliver of pork or if it could have been the corn on the cob? i've always loved fresh sweet-corn soaked in butter with ample salt and pepper sprinkled on it and i'd like if it was real butter not margarine if possible but i hated the fact that corn on the cob gets stuck between your teeth i guess it's just the price you've got to pay but especially my teeth since unfortunately i was born with a gap in my front teeth and there must be some space between my other teeth because food sure likes to get stuck back there and i'm constantly having to brush and floss to prevent cavities although even though i do have above average oral hygiene i still have a truck-load of fillings. due to my oral dilemma and the strange lights in the sky it made driving a real challenge since i've never been the type of person who could combine more than one task at a time. that's when i decided to pull the car over to the side of the road and observe these strange lights that had been becoming brighter constantly for the last several miles.
it was the summer in central ohio so it was warm outside and slightly humid but tolerable and on this particular night there wasn't a cloud in the sky. i thought that maybe the light could be an airplane or maybe a helicopter but there wasn't any sound coming from the light. i stood outside my car which happened to be a rambler classic 1963, i'd had that car for a long time so it looked horrible but it always started and i didn't have to worry about a scratch or even a fender bender since it was built like a brick shit-house and was painted partially with primer and love, or to clarify myself i had started to do some body work but never got around to completing the job so the car looked like it was camouflaged with grey primer and the original green car color although the green had faded leaving it looking hideous with the grey primer sprayed on here and there.
i stood outside the car looking at the lights and wondering "what the hell is it?" and it couldn't have been more than a few hundred yards away. then suddenly the lights were coming closer and if it wasn't for the fact that i had had just a little to much to drink and eat i probably would have been scared but i did so i was curious and then it landed not more than one-hundred feet from where i was standing, the glare from the lights made it impossible to tell exactly what had just landed i was paralyzed i couldn't yell or move. i have never believed in little green men,santa claus or the easter bunny but here they were walking towards me and my parked rambler classic whatever it was was colored exactly like the rambler a faded green with gray splotches.
the next thing i knew i was on board their space-craft being probed but between probings i did have the presence of mind "although communication was difficult" to ask them for some dental floss fortunately they had a tool made just for that.
i woke up several hours later driving the rambler classic and questioning my ability to consume as many refreshments as i could in my younger days although i can't explain the loss of time. i was feeling fine with the exception of a tingling sensation in an orifice or two but i no longer required dental floss.
it was the summer in central ohio so it was warm outside and slightly humid but tolerable and on this particular night there wasn't a cloud in the sky. i thought that maybe the light could be an airplane or maybe a helicopter but there wasn't any sound coming from the light. i stood outside my car which happened to be a rambler classic 1963, i'd had that car for a long time so it looked horrible but it always started and i didn't have to worry about a scratch or even a fender bender since it was built like a brick shit-house and was painted partially with primer and love, or to clarify myself i had started to do some body work but never got around to completing the job so the car looked like it was camouflaged with grey primer and the original green car color although the green had faded leaving it looking hideous with the grey primer sprayed on here and there.
i stood outside the car looking at the lights and wondering "what the hell is it?" and it couldn't have been more than a few hundred yards away. then suddenly the lights were coming closer and if it wasn't for the fact that i had had just a little to much to drink and eat i probably would have been scared but i did so i was curious and then it landed not more than one-hundred feet from where i was standing, the glare from the lights made it impossible to tell exactly what had just landed i was paralyzed i couldn't yell or move. i have never believed in little green men,santa claus or the easter bunny but here they were walking towards me and my parked rambler classic whatever it was was colored exactly like the rambler a faded green with gray splotches.
the next thing i knew i was on board their space-craft being probed but between probings i did have the presence of mind "although communication was difficult" to ask them for some dental floss fortunately they had a tool made just for that.
i woke up several hours later driving the rambler classic and questioning my ability to consume as many refreshments as i could in my younger days although i can't explain the loss of time. i was feeling fine with the exception of a tingling sensation in an orifice or two but i no longer required dental floss.
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