When I die I'll go to heaven

I grew up in the sixties and was in school during the Vietnam war I'll never forget the one day arriving at elementary school and seeing a jacket on an older guy he was possibly twenty, it was a silky looking jacket and on the back it said,"when I die I'll  go to heaven cause I've spent my time in hell." I'm sure the jacket was picked up during his tour fighting in the Vietnam war and even though I'm 57 now and living in Ohio     I'm looking for a souvenir stand or someplace to get a jacket of my own I've found hell doesn't require travel, maybe a little travel but not as far as you would think.

Soup's on

The piles of ridiculousness seem to be getting more than anyone can bear, especially me.
The insanity of this situation is causing me to become like feces with a face.

Not to ethereal sally

She was a big girl a mean girl the type of girl who enjoyed fishing just to bait the hook with worms and purposely make the worms guts drip on her hands and if she was feeling especially nasty, from the corner of her mouth although since fish-hooks are barbed  and Sally did enjoy the challenge and the taste of worm she saved this for holidays but that was before she met Carl. Carl was the quiet type the shy type, the kind of guy that would take in a stray dog. Although little did Sally know Carl was picking up hitch-hiker's and forcibly making them play scrabble  or at times Yahtzee knowing that Sally was a renowned cheater at board games and a horrible fisherman.


Carl wasn't much for hygiene, when he was younger I'm sure he had braces so he had a beautiful set of teeth the kind of teeth you only see in magazines and at the movies but despite Carl's good teeth he always smelled like diesel fuel and cooked cabbage.

But Sally didn't mind, months maybe even weeks before she had applied for a career driving the "big rigs", simply so she could smell diesel, diesel fuel  and exhaust, and Carl.

Ohio st(football) -v-Miami a&m-sat. 12:00-2013

 We were all on skype;It really wasn't much of game especially since the final score was 72-0 although my mother,sister's Betsy and Barbie watched some of the game, while chatting and watching the game with my brother brad who lives in Singapore. Brad had his wife(Joan who was in the Philapine's) on Skype since their baby's in the hospital with pneumonia. It's fair to say this technology has improved our lives, so beam me up,Scotty.

1979 II

Post accident I weighed around 130lbs and was looking like a holocaust survivor although Dodd Hall was a good experience preparing me for the handicap lifestyle and even though I now couldn't walk, i had noticeable slurred speech(talk about a bad singer),double vision, and a slight case of paralysis in all these years I've never felt disabled, although while at Dodd hall and for a short time afterwards I used a wheel-chair and they're very restricting now I use a cane and rely on bouncing off the walls, furniture and at times floor but being a professional handicapped dude over the years I've learned from my mistakes so I rarely "bite" the floor although in my earlier "handicap" days falling was part of my daily routine but nothing to serious that is if you don't consider falling down stairs, cracking my head more than once, falling from a 3 wheeled bicycle, falling into a fire when I was simply walking by(I burned my left arm horribly) but that was years ago.

Following the hospital and Dodd hall I returned home, my parents home, where my mother, father, and two sister's lived and began my life as a handicapped dude. I always loved that house located in a small farming community in central Ohio and even though things have changed like me becoming disabled living there made life just a little easier but I was consumed with becoming "ME" again the pre-accident me(and I had a long row to hoe).

I began by excersising, watching television every commercial break doing push-up, set-ups, or curls with a dumb-bell and although it's been more than thirty years ago I can still remember some of the episodes of Mash and Mary Tyler Moore, at the time they were my favorite. And along with tv and excersising I ate, ate, and ate some more.

I eventually was doing something like 500 push-ups a day(that was years ago i hate to see what
would happen if i even attempted that now)along with various other exercises coupled with excessive eating I weighed slighted over 200lbs but I was still disabled(no fat just disabled).

I eventually lost the extra weight but had to learn to live independently on social security which is hard in today's economy.

1979

In 1979 I was 23 I am older and I've practically lived my life I'm now married with children and even grand-children(unless i live to be 100 and that would be fine by me)or I'm in the process of living it, I can still remember waking up in the hospital after a 3 week drug- induced coma to my dad saying,"you were in a car wreck" he may have said something else but that was over thirty years ago and I've forgotten. The thing is when i did wake up or come around I felt confused, fine but confused(twilight zone fine).

While I was in the drug-induced coma I was given a four percent chance of survival but I wouldn't listen, it's weird a four percent chance and not one scratch(from the accident that is). And by the way I guess I should say I rolled a jeep several times, the jeep was totaled а new jeep that the warranty was still in effect for and it was absolutely totaled. When I was lying in my hospital bed someone showed me a picture of it and it was definitely a wreck but like I was saying that was well over thirty years ago and I'm still here.

I can still remember as I was probably lying in my bed thoroughly drugged up from the lingering effects of the drug-induced coma thinking "I have to use the bathroom," when I was living at home this was a procedure everyone does and I had done a billion times before but this time I collapsed
and wow was I ever shocked. I remember a nurse came rushing in worried that I might have injured myself and me thinking "what the hell" this must be some temporary thing but here I am like I said earlier some thirty-plus years later and I'm still wondering "what the hell."

After two funfilled months in the Ohio state university hospital I was unable to walk, double vision(which is very, very strange), partially paralyzed on my right side, attaxia(which slurs my speech and makes writing virtually impossible), and I can't play a musical instrument(of course I couldn't before my accident but now I have an excuse).

From osu hospital it was off to Dodd hall which is a rehabilitation facility affiliated with the hospital. At Dodd hall I made attempts to walk and at normalcy but apparently it didn't take(I suppose it did,somewhat). If nothing else I did meet quite a few people who were in the same shape as me and at that time I was starving and the food wasn't all that bad. I weighed around 170lbs. Pre accident,

Life is like that piece of fatty bacon in baked beans

Tasty,even if it's not bacon you can always wish it was. Sort of like life it's what you make it "with flatuence."

Brad,just in case I bite the big one

That really neat little arrow-head that I found years ago in that farm field (of course it may no longer be a field it may be a wal-mart or something), the field is located north-west if you were standing looking at the street while standing in the garage. the arrow-head(mississippian) is at the house on 80 lakeview dr.,in the furnace room, when you go in and shut the door and look up at the floor joist's it's in that first space directly to the left above the door. Anyway when you find the bag it's the one wrapped in paper i'm not sure of the age but it's delicate and perfect the rest you can have too since I've heard st.peter won't allow arrow-heads in heaven. So chow.


Ps.if you think of it when you bite the big one try and bring it with you,  you can argue with st.peter you were always good at that.RIP and there's no rush.  Brad give Bruce several too,and bets and bird.

Sleep deprivation and square dancing chimps

It's hell on the spectators. I'm thinking of asking for a full refund because sleep deprivation has absolutlely nothing to do with square dancing chimps that is unless from being deprived of sleep you begin to hallucinate then you may see your occasional square dancing chimp among other things.

When I was younger I had a go at being sleep deprived and I'll swear I saw dinosaurs on I-70 at 3:00 a.m. But that unfortunately was years ago long before I needed my beauty sleep now I need it and if you saw me you'd agree.

The lugubrious conundrum

We needed at least a break although it could be more unstatistically speaking the way these years have gone.

"?"

I was busy in another room so I had the disadvantage of not being able to visually see what was making the irritating raucous, I just assumed it must be a caged animal the way the sound would startle me intermittently so I went about my business with this noise still occurring from time to time although  every now and then it sounded as though someone was running a chain-saw but without having a specific pattern. If it was a chain-saw(and how could it possibly be) by the sound they were sawing rocks,big rocks with the occasional chunk of glass, along with a herd of unruly stampeding  hamster's.(but how did a herd of hamster's get in the bedroom?)


This house we live in is older I've heard it was built in the early 1900's so being haunted is a possibility and that would explain the noise which seems to be getting louder and the sounds are coming closer and closer together. In the last few minutes I've entertained the idea of running screaming into the night or maybe I'll stay and hopefully i won't soil myself.

And then the noise was gone about the same time that my wife woke up.

New one

Immediately after his arrival everyone fell in love with him as expected but his mere presence caused  chaos only heard about in horror movies. each day goes basically the same way at least for now and it's expected and interesting and if someone isn't hurt or killed before time goes by i'll be amazed, then hopefully someday in the future at least I hope we'll look back at these days and laugh and wonder what the hell were we thinking?

After all who needs to sleep?

honey creek

Earlier in my life we used to build forts at honey creek, forts consisting of larger sticks and anything we could find in the area washed up by the rain on the crooked banks of honey creek anything that would shelter us,  after we had constructed the fort we never went in the fort again, (that's not entirely true) i can still see my brother in elementry school with a attractive sixth grader experimenting in the fort.(an image I'd like to forget) but it's burned into my brain like a stubborn grass stain on my adolescent blue jeans.
 honey creek wasn't very large and the deepest spots were where it made a sharp right or left turn and even then it would barely come up to your waste so there was never a thought or mention of boating or riding the rapids on honey creek since there wasn't any but for a child it was still a cool place to be.. it probably wasn't all that sanitary but no one ever died from being around it or in it. Usually in. The spring of the year the suckers would swim up honey creek to spawn(lay their eggs) and as ÿoungsters we would try to catch them or gig them at least that was a phase for a short time. Also honey creek was the only place I've ever seen a pa-pa patch with actual pa pa's growing on the tree's in the fall of the year, pa pa's taste reminded me of overly ripe banana's.

Honey creek ran to buckeye lake and is located in central ohio east of Columbus.

Bud vs budd

i got my first eno album in the early 70's(here come the warm jets)and i enjoyed it but i wasn't all that fond of the vocals, in the early 80's i picked up several eno albums featuring eno some with some without harold budd, this was my first experience with ambient music and i really thought it was great, very calming, although i later discovered my wife and others found it to be just strange, and some of it may be odd but in a good way, i'm sure  who ever came up with the phase "music sooths the savage beast" was listening to eno or eno and budd.

     just recently i've discovered robin guthrie a guitarist formerly of the cocteau twins, some of his ambient music is with harold budd  who played with the cocteau twins and eno. harold budd also has played solo and with clive wright and other artist's.

always remember "It's best with Bud" and harold budd.

Next

When I was younger in the 1960's and at that time besides me being a school-boy in the small farming community of thornville,ohio there was a drug store(j.j. callahan's) with one or maybe two bench's that some old guys use to sit on and discuss god knows what for however long it may have taken(possibly until late at night but by then I was gone) tucked in and snoring.
My uncle was one of the guys setting on the bench and he died back in the 80's I'm not sure but I think he was 88 when he died.

At the time I didn't think much of it and thornville isn't the same, it's no longer a farming community all the old timers have died off and the bench's and drug store are gone, even the grain mill is gone along with the old family hardware store.
It's sad that all the old folks are gone I wasn't extremely close with any one in particular but the majority were friendly.

It won't be long till I'm looking for a place too sit.

What the hell happened

I was eating a corn-dog in 1975, the Vietnam war was finally over and now it's 2013, I still enjoy corn-dogs even though I've lost several teeth but false teeth will do but in between bites I must have blinked and things changed,and now it's years later and the sun's still shining, the United States has been in conflicts since 1975 which is a negative occurrence but there has been more positive occurrences for example the McRib sandwich and although the McRib sandwich is good it wasn't even around earlier in my life when I might have wanted one maybe two. What I'm trying to say is time waits for no one.

Now when I think back there are certain occurrences that stand out in my mind like the Jonestown mass-suicide, living in an apartment alone, meeting my future wife, the birth of my son(who smiled at me immediately after being born), several deaths(grand-parents,father),the birth of my daughter, 9-11, several wars,now heart-melting grandchildren, and there's more(hopefully allot).

I get this feeling that it's all going way to quickly my life that is. The seventies seemed to take forever but since then? It's all good thanks to natures remedy(laxative) and pop tarts.

Nolan's light fixture again

Dangling from the ceiling amongst the dirt, cob-webs and occasional flying dust bunny resides Nolan's light fixture that just may have been brought over on the Mayflower but maybe not since electricity hadn't been invented yet but in any case it's a dirty old non working light fixture and Nolan's totally fascinated with it but he just turned four months old and has yet to choose a career, although this certainly must mean that when nolan grows up he'll refuse a career as your typical fireman/cowboy and go straight for the fast living life-style of a electrical light  fixture sales-men(that's where the big bucks are).

And as he sets on his grampa's lap(where he occasionally doses off) I'm sure he's dreaming of a place full of light fixtures and it doesn't really mattèr if they work or not.

Nolan's light fixture

When  the nolan  was still a young dude he was fascinated with a light fixture hanging in the living room. Whenever he saw the fixture he would smile even though his teeth hadn't come in yet. Years before I had replaced the light globes after Aaron broke one of the three. It looks alright I guess but it's really cute the way nolan is totally fascinated by this old light fixture, I'm not sure if it even works we have never used it i wonder what he sees? My wife or I occasionally dust it, or vacuum it's globes.

And I wonder if in the future will the light fixture still be a source of amazement for Nolan? Also I've been searching online primarily for infant dentures without luck and dentures have nothing to do with light fixtures"