Roller coaster rides straight to hell

     When she gave me that "go to hell" look I knew I'd be going on an eerie roller coaster ride that I wouldn't soon forget even if I tried.

Consensus of blank

    While visiting with my daughter and grandson we were all in agreement because of today's medication the soon to be EX is f**ked in the head she know longer cares about you, me, us, them, they, we period.

cliff

     With elephant size dreams, and the appearance of a short legged bobtailled pony with a bull-dog face, cliff the dog had dreams of winning the Westminster kennels big prize. He'd grown into young dog-hood knowing that he had the potential of being a champion show-dog, if only he didn't forget his training.
     When he was youngèr he realizes he'd been a tad to hyper but he had mellowed since those days and yearned for the chance to be a Westminster kennel club champion even if it cut into his couch time or laying in front of the wood-burner on the chilly mid-ohïo winter's, if nothing else cliff was dedicated.
     Dedication will get you everything, although cliff seems to have some sort of a death-wish even before he enters the ranks of the Westminster society so tonight please say a prayer for cliff and hopefully he'll make it, all the way to Westminster.

Futility abounds

it's been around 6 weeks more or less since the end of our 31 plus years of wedded bliss and it still hurts like crazy although it is getting easier daily and I am happier on this roller-coaster ride straight ought of hell, but I will be 60. I realize it's the best thing that could have happened considering the past few years and even if she did call,"and at times I guess I still would like that," I'd have to say,"kiss my ****."

         Still,just a second ago, my sister and I were looking at some photo's from a few years ago and wow! The memories.

and now

that i'm older whenever i watch athletic events i have this strange notion that i could probably do whatever sport or whoever the athlete may be better than they're doing it. what a tremendous ass.

although getting older certainly does suck, time definitely has left it's tell tale signs on me aside from shrinking , becoming real,real ugly, finding aches and pains that weren't there when i was younger, and i'm sure there's more that i'm probably forgetting. it's really strange how i can get hurt(have pains) from doing nothing(i don't get it? Getting oldèr is hard work and ît doesn't pay well.

So

   After 31 years of marriage, 2 children, and 3 grand children a truck-load of despair. I've always tried to be a good husband, father, and grandfather, even standing by when she was troubled.

I still think it's the medicaton(after fruit loops)

     1992 was my summer "in hell," not that the house wasn't nice enough, or the people but the ambience at least for me was one of just wanting to be home and being normal but this wasn't to be and wasn't to be what at the time seemed like forever.
     In 1994 after three fun filled months in hell we moved to the farm, "that's hell in '92, farm in '94." At first farm life was fun and very busy, at the time our son was in fourth grade, the house needed a lot of cleaning up and my wife seemed content with the help of anti-depressants.
     My wife's father aside from being a horrible father for divorcing his children along with the mother of his children was also a horrible farmer(not spending hundreds of dollars on something and simply losing thousands in the long run). So I was very busy being a dairy farmer and loving it working 60 hours a week dairy farming,loving my wife and child, cleaning up the farm,etc.And every second of it I loved even though I was still disabilded but that didn't seem to matter cutting wood,running a haybine, throwing silage,baling hay,repairing or replacing Windows,hauling or loading manure, and the list goes on and on. Like I said before my wife's father had been an awful father and a horrible farmer but he was honestly a nice guy. It was during this time(maybe a year earlier) he finally divorce's
the 7 times married before,ex-prostitute,piece of work, and makes an attempt at making things right with his children, but never apologizes for the absent years and treating his own children like stray dogs. Although he does move in with his ex-wife as though this will make things right for the years of mental abuse. Although he did have a brief affair with a woman that his sons and daughter's seem to have forgotten about, so I guess that doesn't count.
     1995: and things seem to be going good my wife has a daughter a beautiful girl, our son is 10 in the fifth grade, I'm busy as ever dairy farming,making home repairs,  and being a loving husband and dad. During this time I'm sure there were several medicatiôn issues where the medication was no
longer working as it should, maybe her dr. would switch medications or whatever nothing to get stirred up about then in 2004 the "sh*t hits the fan " another time. It seemed to correlate with our sons graduation from high-school but she was an absolute mess and I'm getting older but still able to farm and be a supportive husband and father.
    In 2006 things wére going fine the wife seemed to be feeling well our son graduated into the marine's at Paris island,South Carolina(we attended) the stars must have been aligned.
     The years following till now:things seemed to be going fine we were growing older with the occasional mental hiccup possibly due to getting use to a medication, a different medicatiôn,  there was a time that even her dad took her to the emergency room because I was simply getting tired of the whole thing,"that wasn't being a good husband," now I see but I just quit, I quit the farm,I quit caring so after thirty-one years two children and three grandchildren we were through