Diagnosed with cancer and died with a broken heart

Two children, three grandchildren, a load of memories, one broken heart

cancerous prostate removal with the use of the robôtic keister-matic

May 16,2016 was the day of my procedure(surgery) and to say I was nervous would be a understatement bût due to the fact that cancer runs through my family like fecal matter through the town's faulty drainage system I imagined it to be my best option. My father died of prostate cancer, my brother has prostate cancer, my sister had breast cancer, my grandmother had breast cancer, my uncle had colon cancer, my aunt had brain cancer, I'm sure I'm missing a few.
Back to may 16th and the day of my surgery, my surgery took place at the Dublin Methodist hospital in northern Columbus,Ohio, it's a newer hospital and I'm sure the procedure won't be free but just maybe? The food at the hospital was so-so but the nurses and staff were friendly to the senior citizens it's amazing the procedure consisted of five or six small incisions in my abdomen and was without the severe pain of doing it in the garage yourself, so all in all if you've got prostate cancer and you'd like to get rid of it why not nip it in the bud or keister.

May 19,2016
Three days of life without a cancerous prostate and appendix(well the appendix wasn't cancerous it just had a funky tumor growing on it and possibly smelled). Someone told me "day 3 following surgery is no picnic" and whoever said that was absolutely correct my abdomen(although the operation consisted of four  to six small slits) looks fairly gory not unlike the pillsbury dough-boy after eating blueberries but besides feeling sore and tired I don't feel half bad. I must say the catheter sucks but after Monday may 23,2016 I'll be good to go(with a boatload of  kegal exercises).

May 20,2016
The fourth day isn't much better than the third but slightly and while showering I discovered a huge

pair of maracas but it will pass.

May 21,2016
This old age thing definitely isn't for sissy's but I'd do this crap again I enjoy life grand-children,food,especially,pork, but any good food,kids,not cats(I could die and not miss cats), along with catheters (but I'd do it again), and everything else is cool life is cool.
The fifth day is good,well really the catheter isn't but it's bearable. And it's good just knowing if nothing else you've got family.

May 22,2016
So the catheter is removed, the long trip to and from the hospital is more than exhausting but I'm still above ground.

May 23,2016
At my brother-n-laws and sister's I survive my first night free of the frick'n catheter, kegal exercises look out(I guess I am a old dude).

Blinked

it was 1975, I started college at osu, had a summer job, eventually got married,blinked, got married again,had a baby, or at least my wife did, became a farmer(for 22 years),had another baby which grew up after the first grew up, got 3 grandchildren,I separated got happy and blinked now I've got cancer but not quite done and still blinking.

What's expected of a I.O.O.F. Wife

ladies first off whether it be the unbearable heat of the summer or the dryness of the winter keep your man hydrated, this is so very important. Hydration,hydation,hydration.
I.O.O.F. Spells hydration.

I.O.O.F.(inebriated order of old fuckers)

we've been contemplating changing the name from the independent order of odd fellow's to the inebriated order of old fuckers and also we've discussed starting a new chapter in new Salem and celebrating every known(and unknown and some just made up) holiday's worldwide(and twice on leap year). by the way August 5th is international beer day and towards the end of May is towel day and as long as there's a plethora of adult beverage's fôr sale at the local market we'll be participating in these and other holidays. International beer day is the first Friday of August not August 5.

Just in case

if things don't go exactly as I'd planned I'd like a cremation service, preferably a cremation service/barbecue and with the money saved by not having your standard burial you can afford ałl meat weiner's(just kidding). Have ribs or pork butt, and loads of beer and hula girls.thanks

PS: be sure you buy yourself  hat.

the strangest group you'd ever want to meet

I first made there acquaintance in the mid eighties and at first I thought they were normal but over the years I discovered they were anything but normal they were more like asparagus a fine tasting vegetable but with horrific results after consumption. I'm sure this was all due to the weird ways they were raised earlier in life, never,no,nothing. No father being a part of their lives, giving direction, any sort of encouragement, a mother who was there in title only, a grandmother(more like a stand in for the wicked witch of the west position) than the position of grandmother. And then there were the other grandparents rearing another daughters illegitimate brood.

Definitely not June cleavers blueprints for a whole bunch not even the Brady bunch.

No.1 child drown at 2 years old creating nasty feelings between the wicked witch and the mother of the child.

No. 2 child did become a nurse but a bi-polar,whore,load mouthed,self righteous type along the way.

No.3 child married into money but still found time to be the most intolerable prick east of the Yellowstone ñational park then still found time for more horrid behavior.


No.4 my soon to be ex and the mother of my children suffered with mental illness beginning in the 1980's

No.5 probably the nicest of the group but still with problems.