august is typically hot and humid in ohio and today was a typical day in august in ohio. my wife and daughter and i went to the city where the Y bridge is located for my appointment with a urologist. the trip seemed uneventful with the filling out of papers, although there was a horrible smell in the obviously newer building where the urologist was located, they were having problems with there sewage drains so construction people had been called in. my appointment went well i weighed in at 174lbs. my height was 5'7", and i was somewhat concerned because when i was younger i was 5' 10" but that was quite a few years ago(i'll be 55 in several weeks) and i suppose i've settled with age.
the doctor(i hope he knew what he was doing) made a thorough exam of my prostate(since my father had died of prostate cancer at age 56). i'd been to the dr's before and had my prostate checked before but this by far was thorougher, to the point of being just a little uncomfortable,embarrassing and painful, in fact i'm sure(at least it felt like it) the dr. was up to his elbow in my keister.
after my appointment was completed i saw the dr. outside talking to the construction workers as i sat in the car knowing that only moments before he was goosing me like no man had been goosed before, i mentioned this to my wife and daughter and they were repulsed and didn't want to hear this information, T.M.I.( to much information).
i'll be returning september 15th for more testing(painful i'm sure).
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
uncle
i always remember him as an old man, with a cane and when he was setting it was usually in his rocking chair by a window reading a newspaper or magazine. he died in the 1980's in a retirement home in newark,ohio where i along with my grandparents would visit from time to time, i realize my grandparents would visit more often than me but i was just a kid.i've always been intrigued by some of his eccentric actions and had several questions like "why did he never marry?" "was he gay?""why did he build a brick outhouse?""did he hold a world record for his flatulence?"
when i was younger and living at home with my mother,father, brothers and sisters he would drive practically daily to sit with some other older dudes in front of the small town drug-store. now that i'm older i'm curious to exactly what they were doing on that kinky wooden throne from hell? i'd imagine they were drinking whiskey and having oral sex, maybe even smoking some whacky tobaccy.
when i was younger and living at home with my mother,father, brothers and sisters he would drive practically daily to sit with some other older dudes in front of the small town drug-store. now that i'm older i'm curious to exactly what they were doing on that kinky wooden throne from hell? i'd imagine they were drinking whiskey and having oral sex, maybe even smoking some whacky tobaccy.
dirt floor
when i was in the seventh grade they shipped us to glenford, a small farming community it was around seven miles east of thornville and the students would ride by bus. seventh and eighth grade meant that seventh and eighth grade kids from somerset , glenford and thornville and all the areas between, would combine for the remainder of our intermediate career.
seventh grade was a big change for a small farm-town boy(not that i was small) but i wasn't extra large either. the building that the glenford junior high was held in was once the glenford high school, built possibly earlier in the 1900's(i discovered while in the seventh grade that northern local school district was building a new junior high adjacent to the high school, between somerset, thornville and glenford.
but until the newer junior high was built i spent my seventh grade year at glenford and oh! what an experience. i can still remember the chorus room/industrial arts room was in a separate building(not far from the junior high building possibly 50 feet). lunch was held in the glenford elementary, located across state rt. 204, around 100 yards from the junior high, also the dances for the junior high were held in the elementary gym, i can still remember george harrison's(beatles) "something" and led Zeppelin's "whole lotta love" playing over the elementary p.a. the dances were probably the best thing about seventh grade, and the discovery of girls.
the thing that i found most disgusting about my time at the glenford junior high was the lack of a floor in the boys locker room, it was dirt, hard as concrete from years of small feet tramping over it but dirt. that alone was enough kill the educational spirit but youth conquers all, or at least some, it was a real treat changing for phys.ed.,basketball,football and track, on a dirt floor and the following year(eighth grade) would be spent in a new building and the locker rooms were modern but lacked the down-home crappy ambiance of a dirt floor.
seventh grade was a big change for a small farm-town boy(not that i was small) but i wasn't extra large either. the building that the glenford junior high was held in was once the glenford high school, built possibly earlier in the 1900's(i discovered while in the seventh grade that northern local school district was building a new junior high adjacent to the high school, between somerset, thornville and glenford.
but until the newer junior high was built i spent my seventh grade year at glenford and oh! what an experience. i can still remember the chorus room/industrial arts room was in a separate building(not far from the junior high building possibly 50 feet). lunch was held in the glenford elementary, located across state rt. 204, around 100 yards from the junior high, also the dances for the junior high were held in the elementary gym, i can still remember george harrison's(beatles) "something" and led Zeppelin's "whole lotta love" playing over the elementary p.a. the dances were probably the best thing about seventh grade, and the discovery of girls.
the thing that i found most disgusting about my time at the glenford junior high was the lack of a floor in the boys locker room, it was dirt, hard as concrete from years of small feet tramping over it but dirt. that alone was enough kill the educational spirit but youth conquers all, or at least some, it was a real treat changing for phys.ed.,basketball,football and track, on a dirt floor and the following year(eighth grade) would be spent in a new building and the locker rooms were modern but lacked the down-home crappy ambiance of a dirt floor.
fred
fred and wilma had been married for 28 years and now that all there children were grown and finally on there own fred and wilma decided it was "Me" time. they had two children a girl and a boy. fred wasn't the best father, he wasn't a bad father but he certainly wasn't the best and he always felt just a little bit guilty although he didn't lose any sleep over it, wilma was and is a better than average mother, she is a tremendous grandmother too and fred was good, he loved his grandchildren and looked forward to each time they visited knowing that they eventually would be going home.
fred and wilma had lived in the same small town all there married lives and since the children where grown they decided on moving out and getting a little place in the country where the neighbors weren't constantly up there butt, they could also raise some livestock and even get some cats and maybe a dog, wilma had always loved cats but because of fred, children, and being employed as a secretary wasn't able to have any, fred on the other hand despised cats but since he loved wilma he'd tolerate there presence, at least on a farm they could keep the mouse population down.
after they had moved into the small farmhouse(located about 6 miles from town) they spent there days working in the garden, cleaning up and tending to there 4 cows, 3 goats a dog and 14 cats. wilma loved the cats making sure they always had more than enough to eat and drink and a safe dry place for the expecting mother cats to have there kittens. since early childhood fred hated cats.
in the 1800's phil sheridan said "the only good indian is a dead indian," fred didn't agree with what sheridan said about indians but he did feel the same about cats "the only good cat is a dead cat,", although fred loved wilma, and wilma loved her cats so fred would be nice to wilma's cats only when wilma was within site.
fred and wilma had lived in the country for going on 2 years and already they had 14 cats and that number changed weekly fred thought to himself but fred loved wilma, fred was also certain that wilma had ESP and bionic hearing because the majority of the time when fred was going to thin out the cat "herd" wilma would be there to stop fred and give him a verbal lashing but fred would continue thinning out the feline herd due to the cost of cat food and fred simply didn't care for cats, whenever and wherever fred was to appear on the farm the cats would run from in terror and wilma experienced the exact opposite reaction the cats loved wilma and wilma loved the cats.
the cats began to catch onto fred's routine of elimination and would only be seen by fred when they could see wilma or when fred would accidentally see them and there were getting to be so many cats that he would see them quite frequently. fred found that the kittens were the easiest to eliminate because they didn't know fred was such a cruel, sick bastard.
it was on a saturday in the spring of the year when wilma was in town and fred was doing some work around the house he was planning on preparing the garden by rota tilling it. he went to the barn to get the rota tiller and discovered a cat and her 6 newly born kittens. fred had his usual feelings of guilt but searched for something to club the kittens with. fred found a shovel he thought would do the trick when a cat jumped on his back, suddenly there were several cats scratching and biting. soon every cat on the farm was there paying fred back for his years of abuse and now wilma's a widow.
after the fred incident wilma no longer loved her cats and when the cats killed fred, wilma was left virtually penniless so wilma ate the cats, she became rich and famous with some of her cat recipe's maybe you've heard of kitten on a stick?
fred and wilma had lived in the same small town all there married lives and since the children where grown they decided on moving out and getting a little place in the country where the neighbors weren't constantly up there butt, they could also raise some livestock and even get some cats and maybe a dog, wilma had always loved cats but because of fred, children, and being employed as a secretary wasn't able to have any, fred on the other hand despised cats but since he loved wilma he'd tolerate there presence, at least on a farm they could keep the mouse population down.
after they had moved into the small farmhouse(located about 6 miles from town) they spent there days working in the garden, cleaning up and tending to there 4 cows, 3 goats a dog and 14 cats. wilma loved the cats making sure they always had more than enough to eat and drink and a safe dry place for the expecting mother cats to have there kittens. since early childhood fred hated cats.
in the 1800's phil sheridan said "the only good indian is a dead indian," fred didn't agree with what sheridan said about indians but he did feel the same about cats "the only good cat is a dead cat,", although fred loved wilma, and wilma loved her cats so fred would be nice to wilma's cats only when wilma was within site.
fred and wilma had lived in the country for going on 2 years and already they had 14 cats and that number changed weekly fred thought to himself but fred loved wilma, fred was also certain that wilma had ESP and bionic hearing because the majority of the time when fred was going to thin out the cat "herd" wilma would be there to stop fred and give him a verbal lashing but fred would continue thinning out the feline herd due to the cost of cat food and fred simply didn't care for cats, whenever and wherever fred was to appear on the farm the cats would run from in terror and wilma experienced the exact opposite reaction the cats loved wilma and wilma loved the cats.
the cats began to catch onto fred's routine of elimination and would only be seen by fred when they could see wilma or when fred would accidentally see them and there were getting to be so many cats that he would see them quite frequently. fred found that the kittens were the easiest to eliminate because they didn't know fred was such a cruel, sick bastard.
it was on a saturday in the spring of the year when wilma was in town and fred was doing some work around the house he was planning on preparing the garden by rota tilling it. he went to the barn to get the rota tiller and discovered a cat and her 6 newly born kittens. fred had his usual feelings of guilt but searched for something to club the kittens with. fred found a shovel he thought would do the trick when a cat jumped on his back, suddenly there were several cats scratching and biting. soon every cat on the farm was there paying fred back for his years of abuse and now wilma's a widow.
after the fred incident wilma no longer loved her cats and when the cats killed fred, wilma was left virtually penniless so wilma ate the cats, she became rich and famous with some of her cat recipe's maybe you've heard of kitten on a stick?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
the chrome plated,electrified yashmak
little tina was a small girl but what she lacked in size she made up for in intelligence and bowel movements.
tina's mother would read to her nightly just after the ritual of measuring her heighth and brushing her teeth. tina's mother would lay out tina's outfit and matching yashmak, tina was the best looking, cutest turkish kid in her class, in fact she was the only turkish kid in the class. most of her fellow elementary classmates couldn't understand tina's language she had such an unusual accent although tina could speak english and understand english without any diffaculty. the truth is you could hardly even tell tina was turkish except for the fact that she was always wearing a matching yashmak with that days outfit.
it was early november and tina along with her classmates were going to sing in front of her parents and her classmates parents but the night before tina's mother had for the first time simply forgot to lay out a clean outfit and matching yashmak.
tina's mother would read to her nightly just after the ritual of measuring her heighth and brushing her teeth. tina's mother would lay out tina's outfit and matching yashmak, tina was the best looking, cutest turkish kid in her class, in fact she was the only turkish kid in the class. most of her fellow elementary classmates couldn't understand tina's language she had such an unusual accent although tina could speak english and understand english without any diffaculty. the truth is you could hardly even tell tina was turkish except for the fact that she was always wearing a matching yashmak with that days outfit.
it was early november and tina along with her classmates were going to sing in front of her parents and her classmates parents but the night before tina's mother had for the first time simply forgot to lay out a clean outfit and matching yashmak.
Monday, February 28, 2011
the rambler classic
what a car; i bought the car in 1975 for 200.oo dollars and it was worth every penny, it wasn't very pretty to look at but it ran fantastic, i remember it cutting out so i dropped it off at the point(quaker state service station), they replaced a gas filter and it ran liked the wind. the front seat was totally without a cover but the blanket i used to cover it worked fine, one of the many features of the front seat was the entire front seat would lay back and become a bed and that was an important feature being 18. when i initially made the purchase i had the intentions of doing bodywork to the car but at the time i was young and some dreams fade rapidly. so the rambler had a light green paint job(what paint you could find), and spots of grey primer giving it a camouflaged look.
in the 60's at least earlier sixties they made cars heavier and the bumpers on cars were sturdier but the rambler was punished by ramming signs on occasion due to the owners stupidity, or it could have been the fact that i was impaired and my driving skills where somewhat compromised although at the time it was great, almost sporting. from the sign ramming the bumpers began to permanently "V" inward but that only enhanced the cars beauty.
another swell feature of the classic was an 8-track tape player which i installed, i only had 1 or two 8-track tapes but they sounded dandy. i remember "in particular" todd rundgren's" music playing on the awesome sound system, i'd even get goosebumps from time to time or maybe it was merely gas?
in the 60's at least earlier sixties they made cars heavier and the bumpers on cars were sturdier but the rambler was punished by ramming signs on occasion due to the owners stupidity, or it could have been the fact that i was impaired and my driving skills where somewhat compromised although at the time it was great, almost sporting. from the sign ramming the bumpers began to permanently "V" inward but that only enhanced the cars beauty.
another swell feature of the classic was an 8-track tape player which i installed, i only had 1 or two 8-track tapes but they sounded dandy. i remember "in particular" todd rundgren's" music playing on the awesome sound system, i'd even get goosebumps from time to time or maybe it was merely gas?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
rah-rah
my brother and i have been using the Internet or computer's to watch or listen to the ohio state buckeye football games on Saturdays in the fall of the year and early winter and at times if the buckeyes have a really good season ( and they usually do) we'll watch or listen to the game(a bowl game), in early January.
i graduated from high school in 1975 and computer's weren't heard of yet, but it seems that now computer's and the Internet are somehow involved with every aspect of our daily lives, and it seems to be definitely a good thing until the third game at the end of the season(the regular season) at the moment i don't recall who they were playing but i do remember they won and it was a good game(at least the second half). although my brother(who lives in singapore) had what sounded and looked like(via skype) to be a nasty cold. he said he could have picked up a bug at the condo pool where the occupant's urinate in the pool freely, or it could possibly have been a guest. anyway my brother picked up a frick'n bug and somehow sent it over the Internet and now i've got it, so the last few days i pass the time blowing my nose and coughing not to mention the body aches and chills.
so as i sniffle and cough and wonder which bowl game the buck's will be playing in this year i'm also skeptical of this technological crap but at least the buckeyes won.
i graduated from high school in 1975 and computer's weren't heard of yet, but it seems that now computer's and the Internet are somehow involved with every aspect of our daily lives, and it seems to be definitely a good thing until the third game at the end of the season(the regular season) at the moment i don't recall who they were playing but i do remember they won and it was a good game(at least the second half). although my brother(who lives in singapore) had what sounded and looked like(via skype) to be a nasty cold. he said he could have picked up a bug at the condo pool where the occupant's urinate in the pool freely, or it could possibly have been a guest. anyway my brother picked up a frick'n bug and somehow sent it over the Internet and now i've got it, so the last few days i pass the time blowing my nose and coughing not to mention the body aches and chills.
so as i sniffle and cough and wonder which bowl game the buck's will be playing in this year i'm also skeptical of this technological crap but at least the buckeyes won.
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